dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
