just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
