I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
