i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
