i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
