Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.

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(312): View more from Illinois

sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Four minutes until I can fart!

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(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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(817): View more from Texas

Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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(210): View more from Texas

You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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(443): View more from Maryland

In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it

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(618): View more from Illinois

I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.

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