I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize