I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You ruined the universe
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
