Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
