oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
