If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
