When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Still dying that you shit outside
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
