Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
