McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
