i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
