Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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