You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
