i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
