I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
