apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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