Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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