I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
