You can't motorboat a personality
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
