I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize