How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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