their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
