either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
