I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
