In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize