woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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