The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
