OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
