Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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