I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
