I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were trust falling into bushes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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