Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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