Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
