Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
