i permit you to call me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize