i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
