I wanna passion pit in your ass
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
