my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
