we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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