I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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