I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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