It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize