Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize