Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
