Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
