It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
