FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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