he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
