I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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