haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
