You really coming over, don't trick.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
