so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
