What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
