Define "chronic" masturbator.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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