do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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