FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
