Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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