In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it hurts more in the daytime
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize