I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
whose parrot is this?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
