you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
