I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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