Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
