No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
