I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
