operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
